Symbolic Gestures

SYMBOLIC GESTURES

All of the symbolic gestures below have beautiful wording that will be spoken by your celebrant (me!) while conducting them.

Why have symbolic gestures? Symbolic gestures are ways to symbolise the union that is your marriage. There are many different symbolic gestures, some are for the couple to take part in alone, others involve the parents and wider family or friends, and some are suitable for children to take part in. If you do have children, I always find that involving children in a symbolic gesture makes them feel included in the celebration by having a role. Many of the gestures are ancient traditions, others are more modern. Symbolic gestures are not at all obligatory, but if you do decide to include them, I'll be here to advise you on all of them.

WEDDING BAND WARMING

This is a beautiful symbolic gesture which starts during the Ceremony introduction. The couple’s wedding rings are passed around the guests each guest will have the opportunity to briefly hold the wedding rings and silently share their thoughts, hopes and wishes for your marriage. When it comes time to exchange them, the rings will have been warmed by the love and support of your closest family and friends. A selected member of the wedding party will take the rings up to the back row of guests and they will be instructed to hold them briefly while they silently share their good wishes etc, then pass them along the rows. The rings will move down the rows and once everyone in the front rows have held them, they are returned to the person of choice in the wedding party - usually either the Ring Bearer if there is one or to the Best Man/Best Woman in time for the exchange of rings to take place during the legal vows.

UNITY CANDLES

The couple each light a candle to symbolise two separate individuals. These two candles are usually smaller than the third main one. Once these are lit with tapers, the Celebrant will ask you to light the third, main candle together. The lighting of this, third candle symbolises the union of you both. The main candle symbolises the strength of your union. You can also use candles to remember loved ones who are sadly missed at you wedding, but very much remembered.

ACKNOWLEDGING MOTHERS

This is when you present a gift to your mum or close family member. Usually the gift is flowers, and can be a lovely surprise if they don’t know about this part of the ceremony. It’s a lovely way of recognising the contribution made by mothers to your lives. When the mothers are invited up by the Celebrant, the couple then gives each of them flowers (or some other gift) as a thank-you and an acknowledging of their role within each family. This symbolic gesture can be extended to include thanking of both parents and presenting gifts to each of them..

SAND CEREMONY

This is a beautiful symbolic gesture and can be carried out by the couple where they take two small containers of sand and pour them into a vase, or a glass receptacle known as a joining vessel. The couple take it in turns to do this, while the celebrant explains the symbolism. It is an extremely good symbolic gesture for couples who have children, as it is very inclusive by giving the children a role, with their containers of sand. 

HAND FASTING

A very popular ritual, it is when two (or more) lengths of cloth or ribbons are used to tie the couple’s hands together. It stems from an ancient Celtic tradition, rooted in Scottish history. The tied  ribbons or cloth can then be kept as a keepsake for the couple.

DRINKING FROM A QUAICH

Another ancient Scottish tradition of drinking from ‘the loving cup’ known as the quaich. The quaich can be filled with the drink of choice and the couple will take turns to sip it, which symbolises their connection to teach other through the sharing of the drink.

MUTUAL HUGGING RITUAL

This is a great ice breaker, particularly for weddings where the guests don’t know each other. It takes place at the beginning of the Ceremony and the marrying couple kicks it off by hugging each other. The wedding party then hug each other, then two people from the wedding party  hug someone at the end of the first row. That person then hugs the person next to them and so on, it goes down the rows until everyone has been hugged. It always ends with a lot of laughs and fun.

NATURE AND GROWTH RITUAL

Normally this would be a tree, a young sapling that couples would plant together in a large container. Nowadays, it is more likely to be a plant. That the couple would use small trowels to plant together. It is best if a hardy plant is used as the growth of the plant symbolises the growth of the marriage together. 

WISHING JAR

A wishing jar is some sort of receptacle with a removable lid, quite large, that will take a quantity of folded slips of paper. The marrying couple will get someone before the ceremony to make sure there is a small piece of paper - A5 is a good size and a pen on each seat or under each seat. Alternatively, there can be a pile of the papers on the signing table with a jar of pens. The guests will be told during the Ceremony that once the married couple leaves the room, then they should write a wish for them, fold the paper and place it in the jar. The idea is that on the first anniversary of the wedding, the couple will open the jar and read the wishes from the guests.

OATHING STONE

 For those of you not familiar with this Scottish tradition it is when the marrying couple either hold or put their hands together on a stone as they exchange their wedding vows, as a Celtic oath given near a stone or water was considered to be more binding. Some believe that it is where the phrase 'setting an oath in stone' comes from. Get creative by choosing a stone from your favourite beach or mountain, have it engraved with your date, initials, special wording or perhaps hand paint some details – this could be something your children may help you do too. The Oathing stone is also a great way to get everyone involved in the ceremony if you choose. Gift everyone with a stone on their way into the ceremony to hold so they can make a well wishing for the couple as they exchange their vows on the oathing stone. You can keep these stones, have guests sign them, or it may make for a fun photo if you are nearby water to throw them into a river.

LOVE LETTER AND WINEBOX GESTURE

The idea behind this gesture is the marrying couple choose their favourite bottle of wine to enclose in a wine box for later use (best to choose something that ages well). The personal touch is adding a sealed love letter to each other reflecting on your journey together and what makes your relationship so special. You can choose a big anniversary to open the box and celebrate! Get creative by having wording, names, dates engraved on the box. You can choose to seal the box with nails and a hammer or a padlock.